Browsing the "Rhonda Rhea" Category

Ever had one of those days? I had several in a row. And by “several,” I mean at least 10 years’ worth. They were days of never feeling quite … finished. I would get to...

July 27, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

According to the Sammy-cat, there’s no container that’s not worth sitting in. If there’s a bag, box, bowl, bin, basin or bucket that he can reach, there’s an understood “Dibs!” from Sammy as he slowly...

July 15, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

Maybe I don’t need to tell anyone this, but there are a lot of reasons I’ll never be on Jeopardy. One big one is that I can very reasonably imagine Alex Trebek saying something like,...

June 30, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

Many people have held out hope that it would never happen again. Yet here it is: I’ve written another poem. Yes, I do know I’m not a poet. Real poets? They feel compelled to write...

June 16, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

“Stare into the pantry.” I ought to just go ahead and write that on my to-do list. You’ve probably heard me whine about it before. I hate it when I realize I’ve been standing, staring...

May 24, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

Eating on the healthier side of the food pyramid is a battle for me. My pyramid is much more … shall we say … prismatic. And probably at least a heptagonal prism at that.  I...

May 13, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

Big things come in small packages. I think the person who said that sat beside me in my high school geometry class. And even though I was really bad at geometry, I would never copy...

May 2, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

I hear if you put a Whitman’s Sampler under your pillow, the cavity fairy will bring you … a $200 invoice from your dentist. If you try it, you should know that while the midnight...

April 13, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

A woman’s purse. It’s the basic essentials of life … on a shoulder strap. Personally, I never know what surprises mine might hold. Not long ago I was searching for a receipt and – surprise,...

March 31, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

I always thought I would age gracefully. Nope. One glimpse at the first few wrinkles in the mirror and I knew I was going fighting, kicking and screaming all the way. It’s not exactly aging...

March 9, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

I know I’ve complained about the state of my refrigerator before, but I’ve found a way to have a better attitude about it. When I get ready to put something in there, I just psych...

February 18, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

I confess, my closet is not the tidiest. But all five of my kids were teenagers at about the same time. Nobody knows the closets I’ve seen. I remember deciding at one point that if...

February 11, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

I’m not sure I ever work as hard as I do when I’m trying to get rid of that extra little quarter-inch of poof from the last corner of a fitted sheet. That last little...

January 22, 2014 - 0 Comments Read More

A lot of my friends have adopted a more active lifestyle and started new workout routines of late. When they all do it at once like that I’m usually shamed into joining them. This time,...

December 20, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

You know how I can tell we’re approaching the Christmas season? I find myself thumbing through a catalog. A catalog. Of. Meat. Potted meat. Pickled meat. Fried and dried and – maybe even poached meat....

December 12, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Think chocolate is not the answer? Maybe you’re not asking the right questions. Okay, I do know chocolate is not really the answer to all the world’s problems. But it does sort of make a...

November 22, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

We’ve been talking about getting an invisible fence for the dog. Then I got to thinking, wouldn’t it be cheaper to just get an invisible dog? Immediate reduction in food costs. And the yard cleanup?...

November 18, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

My workout routine for today: stirred brownie batter. It was really thick brownie batter too. So thick I’m probably going to need a nap. Right after I eat this brownie. I was contemplating being out...

November 6, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Thrills. Different people find them in different ways, from different places, according to different personalities and various likes, dislikes and individual pain tolerances. Personally, I get a real charge from an all-day trip to the...

October 21, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Ice cream is beautiful. I don’t see any reason to scream for it, but I have no problem asking for it—even if I have to get a little loud. Every once in a while I...

October 8, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

It was the wasp nest to end all wasp nests. Maybe it was the fruit punch the kids had spilled on the back deck that first attracted them. But by the time we followed the...

October 1, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

People say that to survive a volatile stock market you should have plenty of liquidity. That’s why I’m thinking about investing in water. When you’re investing in water stocks, I wonder if you get to...

September 4, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

I was working on a book in a wild fury. My fingers had been flying across the keyboard for the better part of an afternoon. I was in “the zone,” man. The zone is a...

June 28, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

I may look calm on the outside. But on the inside I’m frantically trying to digest ridiculous amounts of complex carbs without storing cellulite. Time to up the metabolism, I’m thinking. Seems the logical fix...

May 29, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

If we actually follow the “lather, rinse, repeat” instructions on the shampoo bottle, won’t we end up stuck in a shower-time-loop for the rest of our lives? Then again, if we read the directions on...

May 21, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

How about we all just do this thing together. Let’s simultaneously go to the pantry for something to snack on and stare at a box of instant potatoes for about three minutes. It’s true, decisions...

May 8, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

A panda walks into a café and orders a sandwich. He eats it, then draws a gun and shoots the other patrons. A surviving waiter, quivering as he looks up from the carnage, asks, “Why?”...

April 30, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

There are several reasons I’ll never skydive. I’ll give you my top two. First, I’ve seen videos of people skydiving. Their faces … well … they “flutter.” Wildly. Honestly, I don’t need to see my...

April 21, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

People can be funny about seasons. I know a gal who only drinks coffee in the winter. I want to tell her—with entirely too much enthusiasm—it’s a cup of coffee. Not a wool scarf. This...

April 15, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Anytime you trip in front of your friends, the best thing to do is to just bounce right back up and keep on going. To the airport. And then leave the country. Maybe change your...

April 3, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Maybe I mentioned before that I always keep dried fruit in my desk drawer so I’ll have a healthy snack handy when I’m working. Except the fruits are so dry that all that’s left of...

March 10, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

You know how I usually know I’ve been too busy? I open the refrigerator door and find fur. And then I stand there for several seconds wondering what it used to be. Then I stand...

March 2, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

I burned my right index finger on the toaster the other day. Man, did that smart. It might not have been so bad if I hadn’t kept aggravating it. Do you know how many moves...

February 10, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Whenever someone is working really hard to make a solid argument on an issue they’re passionate about, it’s easy to get frustrated. I always advise against trying to turn the argument around with “I’m rubber...

January 28, 2013 - 0 Comments Read More

Glass-half-full person. Glass-half-empty person. I tend to be more of a dribble whatever’s in the glass down my shirt person. It’s always best if I try to coordinate whatever I’m wearing with the meal of...

December 17, 2012 - 0 Comments Read More