Strengthening the ties that bind us together

Myra and I recently celebrated 36 years of being married to the very person that God intended as a helpmate for each of us. I do not mean to insinuate that either of us thought completely through all that prior to our June 10, 1972, wedding date. But we know it now. And we agree that the best decision either one of us ever made—besides our decisions to accept Christ as personal Lord and Savior, the smartest thing either of us have done was to marry the other. Really. If you don’t believe me, ask Myra. Assuming you catch her on a good day—meaning a day in which I have been good. But, if you ask her on one of those good days, Myra will agree that the best decision she ever made was to marry me. And, those of you who know Myra well, will quickly agree that I am a blessed man to be married to her.

We celebrated our wedding anniversary this year in Indianapolis.

In fact, every year for our anniversary, we go to a different major United States city. We have been to Greensboro, New Orleans, San Antonio, Dallas, Phoenix, Houston, even St. Louis and Kansas City …just to name a few of the U.S cities we have visited, celebrating our wedding anniversary. Never mind the fact that our anniversary comes, every year, during the annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC).

I will admit it. I get all the mileage I can out of the fact that I took Myra to the “Big Easy” for our 25th wedding anniversary. But, we also went to the “Big Apple” to celebrate that year, and there weren’t any SBC meetings in New York City in 1997.

You may think me strange (plenty of folks do), but during one of the convention sessions this year, my mind began to wonder, and I began to consider the similarities in the marriage partnership that Myra and I enjoy and that which keeps us together as Missouri/Southern Baptists.

LOVE—For Myra and I, that fact that we love each other keeps us together. You would surely doubt my sincerity if I tried to insinuate that we have both always been happy with the other. But even in the midst of disagreement, Myra and I love each other. Our love supersedes the disagreement and keeps us together.

Missouri Baptists also sometimes disagree. Sometimes we are downright disagreeable. Still, it is the love of Christ in us and genuine Christian love for our brothers and sisters in Christ that will keep us together. Missouri Baptists are not always easy to love. And, you will surely understand when I say that my love for you is not the same as my love for my wife. Still, I love Missouri Baptists. My love for the people, churches and associations of the Missouri Baptist Convention (MBC) is generated through my love for the Lord of the MBC—that is Jesus Christ.

FAITHFULNESS—For 36 years, Myra and I have been faithful to one another. We have been faithful to the words that we spoke, the vows that we made back in 1972. Faithfulness also will keep Missouri Baptists together. Faithfulness to the Word of God, the way of God and the will of God will keep us together as Missouri Baptists.

During the Pastors’ Conference, this year, I heard something that applies specifically to Missouri Baptists and to our faithfulness to the ways of God. Kerry Shook was one of the Monday evening speakers. He is the son of Damon Shook, a well-known and very effective, traditional Southern Baptist pastor. Kerry Shook himself is a highly effective, non-traditional Southern Baptist pastor. He was undoubtedly chosen to speak at the Pastors’ Conference this year because he is widely accepted by young leaders in the SBC/MBC.

His message was a testimony of the revival currently taking place at the Fellowship of the Woodlands church—a revival that has, so far, resulted in a one-day baptismal service with more than 830 people being baptized in the fountain on the main campus of the church. During the message, Shook told about the bikers who had been saved and wanted to start a “Biker Bible Study.” Of course, the pastor encouraged them. But imagine his surprise when the bikers came back to their pastor and reported that over 40 people had showed up for their first Bible study … at Hooters. Imagine also the hushed silence of the crowd, then a little uncomfortable laughter when the SBC Pastors’ Conference attendees heard that story.

I am not sure what the crowd was expecting to hear next.

I am not sure what I was expecting to hear next.

I have heard lately that some of us just need to “loosen up.” What’s wrong with having a Bible study in Hooters? Rather than get into all that, may I gladly report that Kerry Shook—a young pastor with a passionate heart to reach the modern culture—found the bikers another place to host their Bible study. And, bikers continue to be reached for Christ through that church.

Faithfulness is necessary to keep us together. Faithfulness to the Word of God, the way of God and the will of God, even faithfulness to the missions and ministry legacy of Southern Baptists is necessary to keep us together as Missouri/Southern Baptists.

TRUTHFULNESS—Myra and I learned a long time ago that truthfulness is necessary in marriage. I think it was Mark Twain who offered the sage advice; “always tell the truth and you never have to remember what you said.” That is good advice for any married couple.

It is also great advice for any denomination.

It was refreshing to see the SBC getting honest this year. During his presidential address, Frank Page reminded us that, in spite of all our bragging over numbers, the truth is, the churches in the SBC are in decline. That is not something that we are proud of. But it is something that we must be truthful about.

The next day, during the passing of resolutions, we again admitted the truth about ourselves. Resolution No. 6, entitled “On Regenerate Church Membership and Church Member Restoration,” was amended to acknowledge that while our ACP numbers claim more than 16 million in membership, just slightly more than 6 million actually attend the services of our SBC churches in a given week. The amendments to the resolution also called on Southern Baptists, Southern Baptist churches and Southern Baptist leadership to repent of misleading reports.

I agree.

For a long time you heard the number of Missouri Baptists reported to be as high as 650,000. I pray for the day when that number is legitimate. But the truth is, there are fewer than 250,000 of us who gather on Sunday morning for worship. Now, I am certain, that with 250,000 people completely sold out to Him, the Lord can change the entire state of Missouri. But first, we have to get honest with God and with each other.

COOPERATION—Myra and I cooperate on a number of levels. For 36 years, we have been a team. Sometimes I am the player-coach on that team. Sometimes Myra fills that role. But we are always a team. We follow, not only Eph. 5:22-28, but also Eph. 5:21. Read the verses for yourself.

Myra and I are a cooperating Missouri Baptist family.

What a thrill to see, in the “SBC Bulletin Tuesday Part 2,” that 14 MBC churches are among the 500 top SBC churches in terms of overall dollar amount in Cooperative Program giving. Typically, only very large churches are able to make that list. And, we do find some of the largest churches in the MBC on that list. But only a very few churches in the MBC are large churches by SBC standards. I was also thrilled to find that, at least 34 MBC churches were among the top 500 SBC churches in percentage giving through the Cooperative Program. The reason I said “at least 34” is that I am personally aware of two MBC churches not listed that should have been on that list. MBC churches continue to lead the SBC in percentage giving to worldwide missions and ministry through the Cooperative Program. I am proud of you.

Myra and I will likely continue to celebrate our wedding anniversaries in the city hosting the annual meeting of the SBC. One concern that I have to raise on her behalf is that the men who operate the meetings and the meeting halls ought to have to have to sit through those meetings in their T-shirts. The men could then experience the goose bumps that many of the women endure while sitting in ice-cold convention centers … but I digress.

Myra and I will likely continue to celebrate our wedding anniversaries in the city hosting the annual meeting of the SBC. Chances are we will do that for many years to come. Likewise, as long as our MBC operates in love, faithfulness, truthfulness and cooperation, we too will experience a long-lasting union blessed by God.